Sunday, 22 September 2013

5 Horror Films about the Voodoo that you Do

**Please note that there may be spoilers throughout the blog**

I love when voodoo shows up in horror movies, it has such a fantastic mystique about it and it has that feeling of real black magic that regular old witchcraft just doesn't achieve sometimes.  Like in Child's Play, when Charles Lee Ray is trying to escape he's uses voodoo to spirit himself away into the Chucky doll or in Buio Omega, (Beyond the Darkness) when Iris wants Frank's girlfriend dead, out comes the voodoo dolls and it's done.  No toads, no eye of newt, it just gets the job done.  Now that's some serious shit. 
  Also, voodoo has created one of the most popular creatures to date, the zombie.  However, the zombie when first introduced was more of an undead slave and obeyed his master's evil whims unlike the uncontrollable flesh eating variety of undead that we see today.  Still terrifying these soulless monsters would try and destroy the enemies of their master, kidnap beautiful maidens and try and stop any one from harming their master.  They probably did a better job than most celebritity bodyguards.  Anyhoo, if your are looking to get into the black arts but want to skip the Hogwarts shit, here's a good place to start.

Here are 5 Horror Films about the Voodoo that you Do

5. Voodoo Black Exorcist (aka Vudú Sangriento) (1974) - So voodoo priest, Gatanebo and his lady friend, Kenya are frolicking on the beach, when a middle aged man harasses them and when push comes to shove, Gatanebo kills the middle aged man.  His punishment, which is a little harsh by today's standards, is that Kenya is beheaded and he is also killed and stuffed into a sarcophagus.
  A thousand years later, he is being transferred by ship to a museum in Port au Prince to be studied by doctor Dr. Kessling.  Unfortunately, Dr. Kessling's assistant, secretary and lover, Sylvia for some reason reminds Gatanebo of Kenya, so he rises from the dead and wreaks havoc on the ship.  Can anyone stop this love struck mummy from beheading everyone on the ship?
  This is a pretty bad mummy movie wrapped up in some voodoo lore.  The script is a bit confusing because it doesn't really explain how he was resurrected and once brought back to life, he seems to turn back into a mummy at times for no reason.  The only person recognizable in this is Aldo Sambrell (Shaft In Africa, For A Few More Dollars), who plays Gatanebo. The ending is terrible and totally leaves you hanging.  Seriously, it just ends and doesn't tie anything up at all. However, there are a few good beheadings in this, someone gets run over by a steamroller, which you don't really see outside of cartoons and a couple good chuckles at the silliness of it all.  Would I watch this again, probably not but I might be better with a few friends and a few drinks.  

4. White Zombie (1932) -Neal and Madeline go to Haiti because Neal's new boss, Charles Beaumont wants to have them get married there. On their journey to the Beaumont estate, they run into a group of people that the coachmen considers "Zombies" and he puts his carriage into gear.  The coachman explains that the "Zombies" are created from voodoo and are the walking dead.  Neal thinks this story is hogwash and is irritated by the speed of the carriage but they arrive in one piece to the estate and he's there with the love of his life, so everything is hunky dory.
  Once they arrive, they meet Dr. Bruner, who is officiating the marriage and who like probably everyone else in the audience, is wondering why Mr. Beaumont wants them to get married there at his estate.  However, there is no time to wonder about those things because Mr. Beaumont comes down, greets everyone and pays particular attention to Madeline.  He has his butler show them to their rooms and lets everyone know that the ceremony will he held in an hour.  This gives Mr. Beaumont time to sneak away to local Voodoo master, '"Murder" Legendre.  He convinces "Murder" to give him a potion to make Madeline a zombie and leave her husband.  "Murder" agrees but for a very high price and Beaumont reluctantly agrees to it.
  As Mr. Beaumont escorts Madeline to the alter, he gives her one more chance to leave Neal and marry him.  She refuses, so Beaumont slips her the powder given to him by "Murder" and they have the most uncomfortable marriage ceremony ever.  After the ceremony, Madeline collapses and she is believed to be dead.  Unfortunately, she is only zombified and her body is stolen during the night by Beaumont and "Murder".  Will Neal ever find out what really happened to his new bride and will he be able to save her from this voodoo curse or is she doomed to spend her time in a suspended state of life and death, like most married people?
  This was the first full length zombie picture ever made and the zombies are stunning for 1932.  They are simplistic, slow and obey their zombie master.  What more can you ask for?  The story is good, it has love, horror and there is even a little bit of humour in it.  Bela Lugosi (Devil Bat, Son of Frankenstein) plays "Murder" Legendre and gives a similar performance to his work in "Dracula".  It's funny because if your a fan of these classic films you may recognize some of the sets. They were "borrowed" from films like Frankenstien, Hunchback of Notre Dame and The Cat and the Canary.  There isn't a lot of violence except for the end, which is terrific but the there are some creepy zombie scenes that shouldn't be missed.  This is an old school film that is worth watching again and again.

3. The Devil's Own (aka The Witches) (1966) - After being chased out of Africa by witch doctors, missionary/grade school teacher Gwen Mayfield is looking for an easier job back in England.  So when, Father Alan Bax offers her a job teaching school in his small village, she jumps at the chance.
  When Gwen arrives she is greeted by the village people with open arms and Alan's sister, Stephanie takes a real shine to her.  She enjoys all the children in her class but notices that one girl, Linda Rigg and boy, Ronnie Dowsett seem to be thick as thieves. Unfortunately, she is not the only one that has noticed and it seems the whole town are trying to pull them apart and Gwen can't understand why.  Shortly after talking to the pair, Ronnie falls ill and Gwen finds a voodoo doll of Ronnie with pins in it.  Has Gwen discovered yet another village of voodoo witches and how will she stop this black magic before it gets out of hand?
  This Hammer film was quite enjoyable but not as voodooey as I was expecting.  Sure, at the beginning there are some good elements but as it progresses it could easily be a regular witch film.  Still, the  script is pretty solid and only drifts a bit in the middle but it gets back on course before the big ending.  My only real issue is Joan Fontaine playing Gwen Mayfield.  Don't get me wrong, Joan Fontaine (Rebecca, Suspicion) is excellent in this and a fantastic actress but the role seems to be written for somebody younger.  She does a fine job but leaves me wondering.  Anyhoo, the level of violence is low, but creepy things happen and it is terrifying watching middle aged people from England perform voodoo dancing rituals. Ghastly.  This is a fun film with a real flair that you should check out before you check out.

2. Venom (2005) - After performing a voodoo ceremony, an old Creole woman packs up a suitcase full of snakes and jumps in her car.  Meanwhile, Eric and his friends are hanging out at their favourite burger joint.  Eric still can't figure out why the waitress, Eden broke up with him and wants to go to a different college than him.  So after her shift, he follows her and stops her on a bridge to talk about it.  During their talk about their teenage angst on the bridge, local douche bag and tow truck operator, Ray Sawyer barely dodges Eric's jeep parked on the bridge and stops to give the teens shit, then goes on his merry douchey way.  Unfortunately, Ray is on the wrong side of the road and nearly collides with the old creole woman is heading the same way! The creole woman's car gets ran off the road and is now dangling on the bridge.  Ray Sawyer saves the old woman and goes back in to get the suitcase she has been muttering about.  This tips the car and it plunges into the river!  While Ray is trying to escape, the snakes attack and kill Ray.  So much for being a good Samaritan.
  Eden recognizes the old woman as her friend, Cece's grandmother and local voodoo witch.  Unfortunately, the old woman dies and her and Ray are carted off to the morgue.  However after being bitten by those snakes, Ray is now possessed with evil spirits and leaves the morgue with a bloody trail following him.  Eric and his friends discover this and go to Cece house to find a way to stop him but it's too late! Ray has come back to the old house for some reason and traps them there.  Can Eric, Eden and their goofy teen friends stop this possessed maniac and finally have a chance at love or will they become victims of this voodoo curse?
  This movie wasn't too bad.  It's pretty by the numbers but it did have a guy possessed with voodoo spirits and a pretty good body count.  There are some names in this, like Agnes Buckner (The Woods, Anna Nicole) who plays Eden,  Laura Ramsey (The Ruins, The Covenant), Bijou Phillips (Bully, Hostel II) and even rapper Method Man (Wu Tang Clan) shows up.  There are some bloody scenes but again, nothing that you haven't seen before.  Not the best Voodoo but not exactly doodoo. 

1. Serpent and the Rainbow (1988) - Ethnobotanist/Anthropologist Dennis Alan is sent to Haiti by a pharmaceutical corporation to search out a drug that they are hoping to use as an anesthetic.  Dennis meets with a young female doctor named, Duchamp and they search for a man, Christophe, a local zombie, who was suppose to be put under using this drug and then brought back from the "dead".  Unfortunately during their search, local voodoo priest and commander of Haiti's secret police, Captain Dargent Peytraud hears of their investigation and warns Allan to leave Haiti and never to return.
 Dennis ignores Peytraud and finds his own witch doctor, Mozart, who takes him out and shows him how to create the zombie powder but once they make it, they have 24 hours to wait for it to settle.  Will Dennis be able to escape Haiti with his zombie powder before Captain Peytraud finds him and put him six feet deep?
  This is quite an interesting movie.  Not only does it give a somewhat realistic look into Haitian Vodou (voodoo) but a look at how things were in Haiti during the Baby Doc Duvalier administration, which was just as terrifying as any Vodou spell or ritual.  This was "based on a true story" which always leaves me leery about the story on the screen but I think director Wes Craven (Music of the Heart, Paris, je t'aime) does a great job taking the source material and making it into a horror.  Bill Pullman (Spaceballs, Ruthless People) is good as Dennis and has a great supporting cast with Zakes Mokae (Dust Devil, Outbreak), Paul Winfield (Mars Attacks, Terminator) and Cathy Tyson (Mona Lisa, Priest).  There isn't a huge body count and it's more of a thinking horror with some disturbing scenes.  The ending I think may be a little over the top but it's a lot of fun to watch.  Great film to watch if your afraid that you'll be buried alive!

  So, after watching these films, you should grab your copy of "The Complete Idiots guide to Voodoo", (unfortunately Voodoo for Dummies doesn't exist) and start practicing some spells because you never know when you may need a spell or a zombie to protect you.

Monday, 9 September 2013

5 German Horror Movies

**Please note that there may be spoilers throughout the blog**

Lately, some of the most violent and captivating horror films I've seen have been from Germany.  Movies like Schramm, Angst and Nekromantik are filled with so much anger and depravity, that it's funny to think that they come from the same place that created some of gorgeous silent horrors like The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari and Nosferatu.  So, I thought I'd see what other films Germany had to offer.  

Here are 5 German Horror movies

5. Violent Shit (1989) - A little boy named Karl comes home from playing with his ball in the woods and kills his mother.  Twenty years later, Karl lives in the woods and violently kills people who enter the vicinity. That's pretty much it.
  This movie is really loooow budget, apparently it cost 2,000 dollars and took about 4 weekends to shoot this with his friends as the actors.  The script is terrible and the idea that he just kills people in the woods and hasn't been caught is kind of idiotic.  However what it lacks in story, it certainly makes up in gore.  Director Andreas Schaas puts together some of the most disgusting human butchery that I've seen in a while.  And sure it may look fake at times, but his effects team did a great job with the time and money that they had.  This movie will gross you out and make you laugh, you need to see the devil it's hilarious, at the absurdity of it all.  There wasn't a trailer, so here's a clip.

4. The Golem (aka Der Golem, wie er in die Welt kam) (1920) - Sometime in 16th century Prague, Rabbi Loew using astrology predicts that his people will be in a lot of trouble soon.  So, he with the help from his assistant, Famulus, Rabbi Loew starts building a Golem out of clay to use as protection.
  The next day a messenger, Florian arrives in the Jewish ghetto with a message from the Holy Roman Emperor and delivers it to the elders of the community, including Rabbi Loew.  The note reads that the emperor doesn't like all the black magic the Jews have been dealing with lately and would like them to leave.  Everyone panics but Rabbi Loew sends a message back asking for an audience with the emperor.  Then Loewe and Famulus return to Rabbi Loew's work area and using black magic they bring their Golem to life.  After the monster comes to life and does some boring chores like, chopping wood and picking things up at the market, Rabbi Loew knows that this beast is ready to take on the Roman empire.  Can Rabbi Loewe finally stop the persecution of this people through dialogue with the emporer or will he have to bring in the muscle with his horrible Golem?
  This was Paul Wegener's third attempt at a Golem film, after directing two shorts previous to this film.  He ended up playing the Golem and co-directing the film with Carl Boese and I think together they did a fantastic job.  There are some cool effects (for 1920) and hats off to Wegener because the Golem costume did not look comfortable.  There is only one truly violent scene but it's an interesting creature concept.  If you like silent horror or something a little different, you may dig this.   

3. The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism (1967) - Count Regula has been found guilty in the torture and murder of 12 virgins.  The judge feels that the usual beheading is too good for this horrible man, so he is sentenced to be drawn and quartered.  Count Regula tells the judge that everyone will pay for killing him and he will come back from the dead, and blah blah blah, so the judge puts on the happy masks full of spikes on Regula's face to shut him up.  Then they drag Regula to the court yard and the horses pull him apart.
  Thirty-Five years later, adult orphan Roger Mont Elise receives an invitation to the castle of Count Regula to learn more about Roger's mysterious past.  When he arrives in a small village to ask for directions, no one seems to have heard of this castle and the ones who have heard of it won't speak to him.  Except for a strange priest named Fabian, who offers to give Roger directions in lieu of a lift to an inn close by.  Shortly, after they find the inn that Fabian was going to has been burned to the ground and Roger feeling bad, invites him to come along until they find someone riding back to town.
  As they continue their journey, they come across two maidens in distress and rescue them.  As luck would have it, Baroness Lilian von Brabant and her maid, Babette were going to the same place.  Lilian received a letter about collecting an inheritance from the castle of Count Regula.  The continue the journey for a loooooooooooong time and are ambushed again, this time they are kidnapped and brought to the evil castle of Count Regula! umm okay.  But they are now prisoners! Instead of them just coming freely like the were in the first place.  Will Roger and Lilian ever discover the secrets of their heritage and live to tell about it or has Count Regula come back from the grave and needs them to complete his evil curse!
  Christopher Lee stars in this as the evil, Count Regula but you don't really see that much of him which is kind of disappointing but when he does show up it's very good.  Loosely based on a story from Edgar Allan Poe, director Harald Raini seems to have taken his cue from the Corman/Hammer films on the look of the picture.  Very gothic and nice looking sets.  However, I wish they had spent more time in the torture chamber instead of on the road going to the castle.  For a film that's an hour twenty something, they only spend maybe 20 minutes in the castle.  There are only a couple of deaths and one character just disappears for a while for no reason.  Don't get me wrong, that's what makes this movie enjoyable and fun.  Dr. Sadism shouldn't be taken so seriously and like most of Corman films with a little laughter and levity.  If you like Hammer's gothic look and the goofy B-movieness of Corman style than you should enjoy this. 

2. Anatomie (2000) - Paula Henning, a top notch medical student has won a chance to study for the summer at the prestigious, University of Heidelberg Medical School.  So she packs her bags and jumps on the last train to Heidelberg, where she meets up with her gorgeous slutty classmate, Gretchen.  Gretchen tells her that she has also been accepted to Heidelberg for the summer and suggests that they room together.  Reluctantly, Paula agrees to and they have a nice train trip, until a young man almost dies on the train.  Luckily, Paula gets to him in time and saves his life.  He thanks her and tells her and Gretchen that his name is David and he has a rare disease and he is meeting someone in Heidelberg that wants to study him.  So they wish each other well and part ways when they get to Heidelberg.
  Once at Heidelberg, Paula gets into best student mode and quickly becomes the teachers pet.  However shortly after her arrival, her friend David shows up at Heidelberg, on her dissection table.  Through examination of his body, she realizes that foul play is a foot and she starts looking into the school's history.  She discovers a secret society, the Anti-Hippocratic Society, who are okay with experimenting on live people to further their scientific study.  Unfortunately, once the society discovers she's on to them, Paula is now a target.  Can Paula survive and finish her summer study or is this student going to end up on the slab for dissection.
  This was pretty good.  Franka Potente (Run Lola Run, Creep) does a good job playing Paula, even with the worst hair cut ever.  I think she when with the Golem style.  Director Stefan Ruzowitzky (Deadfall, The Counterfeitors) spins an interesting web of intrigue with the secret society element.  This film leans closer to a thriller more than a horror but that's ok because there are some terrific gory scenes.  Maybe not as horrifying as say in Hostel or Saw but still pretty graphic and enjoyable.  If your looking for a medical thriller, this may be what the doctor ordered.

1. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) - Jonathan Harker is sent to Transylvania by Renfield to close a deal with Count Dracula on the purchase of a home back in Wismar.  Jonathan kisses his wife Lucy goodbye and promises to write ever day.  When he gets to a small inn close to Dracula's castle, he finds out the locals are terrified of Dracula and no one will give him a lift to the castle.  Harker ends up walking to the castle and when he arrives, he discovers that Dracula is one strange guy.  Ends up that Dracula is a vampire! Whaaaaaat? And he starts feeding on Jonathan, while preparing to move to his new place.  He eventually, imprisons Jonathan and leaves for his new home across the street from Lucy.  Can Jonathan escape and put this bloodsucker down or is his home town doomed to be consumed by the voracious appetite of one terrible creature of the night? 
  Director Werner Herzog does a really amazing job retelling this classic story.  He strips down the Dracula character of his style and grace that Lugosi and Lee created for him and brings the monster back to the horrific monster that director Murnau introduced us to.  **Spoiler** Also, he turns Lucy from a victim into a the heroine and she is the one that must save her husband and convince Van Helsing that Dracula is not human but an evil creature. **EndSpoiler** Finally, the look of film is gorgeous and some the shots are absolutely fantastic and terrifying.
  Klaus Kinski (Creature, Schizoid) is an excellent as Count Dracula and he excels at being creepy looking, almost topping Max Schreck.  Isabelle Adjani (The Tenant, Ishtar) is outstanding as Lucy Harker and so is Bruno Ganz (Wings of Desire, Downfall) as Jonathan.  There isn't a lot of gore but I think this has the largest body count I've every seen in a Dracula movie.  I really enjoyed the ending and it's a nice final twist on a classic story. (There were actually 3 Dracula films released in 1979, including the Frank Langella film)  If you want to see a different kind of Dracula, this is a great choice!

Over the last 30 years, there have been more and more horror movies coming from Germany.  These are just a small drop in the stein of a rich and dark horror legacy.  It's nice to see that they are still pushing the boundaries of fear and I can't wait to see more films in the future.  So grab a pint and plate of schnitzel and dig into these terrifying films.

Monday, 2 September 2013

5 More Schools of Terror!

**Please note that there may be spoilers throughout the blog**

  I thought I'd revisit the School horror genre because there are so many great and enjoyable titles out there.  Also, I've been on vacation as well and seem to feel the same nervous energy and dread that most of the students are experiencing right now.  So, I thought I'd give us both a break and find some fun easy horrors to check out, so nobody goes berserk in the hall of whatever educational centre you have chosen to attend. So put down your pencils and pens because you don't have to take any notes on these titles.

Here are 5 More Terrifying School Movies: 

5. Graduation Day (1981) - Graduation day is coming soon and the track team has one more meet before the school year comes to a close.  Laura, the team's favourite runner bursts out of the pack and crosses the finish line to claim victory for their school.  Unfortunately, she drops dead right after crossing the finish line.  The team is devastated and blame Coach Michaels for pushing her too hard to win.  He learns shortly after the meet that this will be his last year at the school.
  Shortly after the funeral, Laura's sister, Anne returns home to collect the trophy and prize money from Laura's school?  She goes to the school to meet Laura's friends and she seems to hit it off with Laura's old boyfriend, Kevin.  She goes back to his house with him and collects some of Laura's medal and pictures.
  The next day, a number of parents with kids on the track team are calling the principal because their kids are missing.  All of a sudden, bodies are popping up and the track team is dwindling in numbers.  Can anyone find the killer before there is no one left to compete next year?
  This is a Troma movie, so it's pretty low budget and fun.  The story is alright but there are parts of the film where you wished they would focused more on, like Anna and the killer,  and some stuff the could have definitely cut, some of the school principal scenes and the prevy music teacher.  There are some good recognizable people in this like Christopher George (City of the Living Dead, Pieces) who plays Coach Michaels, Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead, Creepozoids) and Vanna White (Looker, Wheel of Fortune).  Yes, Vanna White is in this.  Anyhoo, there are some interesting death scenes with people being picked off with a fencing sword, which you don't really see that often.  The ending is actually really creepy and is the main reason to watch this, that and Vanna White.  So, if you get bored from hitting the books, pop this in and you can see why being on the track team isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

4. Slaughter High (1986) - The hottest girl in school, Carol lures nerdy kid, Marty into the girls locker room for a little action.  Marty can't believe his luck, gets into a shower stall and strips down for what should be the most exciting time of his young adult life.  Unfortunately, this was all a prank and while Marty was stripping down, a bunch of Carol's cool friends came in with a video camera.  They pull open the shower curtain and Marty is humiliated.  It doesn't end there, the guys carry naked Marty to the toilet and give him a swirly, luckily the Coach catches them and gives the gang a detention in the gym.  Marty picks up his clothes and what's left of his dignity and goes back to science class to work on his project.
  During detention, the kids can't believe what a jerk Marty is for getting them in trouble, so they decide to play another prank on him.  They get a joint and lace it with poison and send it up to him.  Second worst prank ever.  Marty smokes the joint and starts hacking up a lung and knocking things over, like his Bunsen burner.  This causes a fire and Marty starts to panic!  He tries putting the fire out and accidentally bumps the shelf that has the open bottle of sulfuric acid is stored on the edge and it comes crashing down on him.  The school calls the fire department and they pull the mangled body of Marty out of the science room.  Fortunately, he is still alive but he will never be the same.  The gang feels bad, but not that bad cuz Marty still got them detention. Fucking jerk!
  5 years later, the gang returns to the school for the 5 year reunion.  When they get there, they are excited to see each other and reminisce over old times.  By night fall, the doors to the school are still not open and no one else from the school has arrived but this clique of friends.  So instead of going home, the gang decides to break into the school and party!  Luckily when they get in, they find a specific room set up just for them and it's catered with food and beer.  They finally think that this is strange but then they don't care, they want to party!!!!!  However, after a few beers and a few friends go missing the gang gets worried.  The search for their missing friends and find them dead.  They try and get out of the school but now they are trapped inside the school with a madman.  Has Marty returned to get revenge on the bullies that did him wrong so many years ago?  You bet your ass he has.
  This movie is almost the exact same film as the "The Redeemer: Son of Satan!", only that one is a little better.  After the Marty's hazing and accident, the film really goes downhill when it comes to reasoning and plausibility.  With that said, it is somewhat enjoyable and good for a laugh.  These characters do some of the stupidest things, I've ever scene. Like, taking a bath, alone, in a deserted school after seeing your friend die I front of you or knowing that there is a killer on the loose and going to have sex with your husband's best friend, while he works on a car, so you all can escape.  It's just silly.  The twist at the end is pretty good but it sure takes a long time to get there.  I don't know how they convinced Caroline Munro (Maniac, Captain Kronos) who plays Carol to be in this but that is some good work as a producer.  Also, Henry Manfredini inserts some of his music that can heard in "Friday the 13th" to claim a scoring credit on this film.  All together, the film has it's own charm and the laugh it gives you may save you from going mental on an exam later on.

3. Class of Nuke'em High (1986) - There is a slight leak from the Troma city's nuclear power plant but no worries because they caught it in time and it won't have any affect on the city (wink).  Unfortunately, the high school is located pretty close and strange things start happening.  Like, the honour students become a gang of viscous drug dealers called the "Cretins", and another kid turns into a maniac, attacks the students, then he throws himself from the second floor of the school and melts on the street, just from drinking from the fountain.  Note to self, stay away from fountain water.
  Luckily, there are still some normal kids at Troma High, if anyone's normal in Troma.  Like Warren and Chrissy, who have been dating for a long time but have never had sex.  Thing change though at a party because their friends get them high from some crazy radioactive weed that they bought off the "Cretins" and after smoking it the two of them end up in bed.  Buuuut, that night after the party both Warren and Chrissy have horrible nightmares that freak the shit right out of them.  On Monday, Chrissy runs to the bathroom and vomits a monster that might have been conceived on the night with Warren.  Now there's a monster at the school, radiation in the hallways and a gang of "Cretins" bullying the students, can anyone escape Troma High?
  The script for this movie is all over the place and if you are looking for some sort of cohesive story, you are in the wrong place.  This is another Troma film and one of my favourites.  I love the world the Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Hertz created on a shoe string budget.  Sure the acting is bad and there really isn't a story but there is a ton of gore, imaginative characters and a lot of good times to be had watching this.  Did I mention gore?  The effects are actually very good for such a cheap film and if you like melting faces and shitty monsters than this could be right for you.  One of the best bad films, you'll ever want to see. 

2. The House on Sorority Row (1983) - It's after graduation and Vicki convinces Katey to stay with some of the other girls in the sorority house until after the weekend.  Vicki tells her that they're going to throw a party at the house to celebrate everybody graduating! Whoo hoo!  Katey reminds Vicki about Mrs. Slater, the sorority's house mother, who usually wants everyone out of the house by June 19th and there is no way that she is going to let them have a party.  Vicki takes in this information and responds with "Fuck her, we're having a party". O K!
  That night, while the girls gather around drinking and talking about their futures, Mrs. Slater busts into their room and tells them that they all must leave the sorority house in the morning.  After Slater leaves, Vicki and the girls decide that they should play a prank on Slater to get her back for all the shit they've had to deal with over these last few years.  So, while getting the party ready the next day, Mrs. Slater storms down to the pool area to throw the girls out and tell them that there will be no party there.  Vicki responds to her by pulling a gun and tells Mrs. Slater that they are having the party or she'll shoot Mrs. Slater.  This may be the worst prank ever.  Katey and some of the other girls try and convince Vicki that she's gone to far and try to remove the gun from her.  The gun accidentally shoots Mrs. Slater in the gut.  The girls panic and thinking that Mrs. Slater is dead, wrap Mrs. Slater up in a tarp, weigh her down with blankets and they toss her in the disgusting swimming pool.  Done and done, now let's get back to the getting ready for the party.  Katey is the only one that thinks they should call the police but the other girls are scared and don't want to ruin there lives with a murder rap, so Katey decides to go along with them. She's a true sorority sister.
  That night everyone is still having a good time, even though they killed their Den mother.  They contain the party inside the house and stop people from using the disgusting swimming pool.  However, during the evening, some of the girls start to go missing.  The Katey and Vicki realize that Mrs. Slater may not be dead and that she may have come back to kill them, for trying to kill her.  Can these new college grads stop Mrs. Slater again from destroying their party and ending their careers before they even begin?
  This was pretty good.  For director Mark Rosman (A Cinderella Story, The Perfect Man), this was a good effort for his first time in the director's chair.  The film looks a lot like it was shot for TV or a made for TV movie, which concerned me until I saw boobs, then I knew it was a feature film.  The acting is fine, Kate McNeil (Monkey Shines, Sudden Death) is good as the lead, Katey although she doesn't seem to have as much screen time as Vikki, played by Eileen Davidson (Going All the Way, every soap on daytime television) until the end of the film.  The story is a little rough around the edges and there are some twists that could have made this film really great but still it's a fun film. There are some good kills and even though the ending is a bit convoluted, it does pay off in the end.   

1. The House That Screamed (aka La Residencia) (1969) - Senora Fourneau runs a boarding school for troubled girls.  Sometimes her methods of punishment, like whipping the girls, are a little harsh but she feels this is the only way that she can keep these girls in line.  She also has a son Luis, who is forbidden to see any of the girls at the school.  She tells her son, that they are all dirty and he deserves a woman like his mother. ummm, o   k
  Unfortunately for Senora Fourneau, she doesn't know that Luis is seeing a number of the girls with secret rendezvous and he has recently taken an interest in the new girl, Teresa.  However, after Teresa's arrival a number of the girls have gone missing and with the help of her gestapo like student assistant, Irene, Senora Fourneau must find them before this puts her school's reputation in jeopardy!
  This was a interesting film from Spain.  Director Narciso Ibanez Serrador (Island of the Damned) creates an fantastic giallo style horror film.  The script is good, although it does wander at times, but there are some very good twists that caught me off guard. Lilli Palmer (Boys of Brazil, De Sade) is excellent as the head mister Senora Fourneau and plays her strong, smart and at times very sadistic.  There aren't a lot of death scenes but the ones that are here are solid and there is some torture stuff, like whippings and some interesting mind games that go on. The ending is great and really brings the film together in a disturbing way.  So, if you're looking for a school film with some international flavour, than this may be it. 

So, don't stress too much about your education and try to enjoy school while you can because once you're done the real nightmare begins. Getting a real job.