Sunday, 2 June 2013

5 Bloody Bride Movies

**Please note that there may be spoilers throughout the blog**

They say that there's somebody out there for everybody, but I don't know if this statement was intended for monsters and creatures of the night.  As these movies demonstrate, even vampires that don't sparkle or the things that are stitched together with pieces of rotting flesh get lonely sometimes.  So when they think they've found that special somebody, usually cowering in a corner or being put together on a laboratory table, then they know it's time to pop the question.

Here are 5 Bloody Bride Movies

5. (REC 3) Genesis (2012) - It's Clara and Koldo's wedding day and everyone's come to celebrate.  They have a beautiful ceremony and are having a wonderful reception.  People are singing, dancing and having a good time until Koldo's Uncle falls from the balcony and crashes into a table of, let's say cheeses.  However, it looks like he's ok until he starts eating Koldo's Aunt's face. Worst appetizer ever!  This, of course leads to a least a dozen dead looking people bursting out of nowhere in the hall and attacking all the guests.  It's like a flash mob of death, which is actually more entertaining than a regular flash mob.
  Anyway, Clara and Koldo get split up and must fight they're way out of probably the worst wedding reception ever.  They don't know if the other is alive for sure but they can feel that they are and neither will leave the grounds without the other. Is that true love or what?  Can the young couple fight the undead and finally be reunited or are they destined to be just another cold item on the entree list of their own wedding guests?  
  This was a really different kind of (REC) movie.  Most noticeable is that they dropped the whole found footage look to the film, when the zombie/demons attack, it turns into a regular film.  Also, the tone of the film has switched from a heavy handed horror tale to a gory horror comedy.  Which works in some aspects, like when the Clara picks up a chainsaw and starts mowing down the undead but doesn't work when you have the Koldo and his friend dressing up as knights to battle the demons.  It's as if the writers had just watched Evil Dead or Dead Alive, instead of the earlier (REC) films.  For the most part, I thought it was ok and liked the idea of the wedding guests being swarmed instead of the monotonous build up where people got picked off one by one.  Also, there are a lot of great gory scenes with all sorts of weaponry.  Again, the humour is hit or miss and the ending is alright.   I think if your a diehard fan of the (REC) series then this may be your Halloween 3 and I would try to avoid it but if you're looking for something a little lighter and like girls wielding chainsaws then you might dig it. 

4. The Brides of Dracula (1960) - A young french school teacher, Marianne Danielle is traveling across Europe to her new job in Transylvania.  Unfortunately, she gets ditched by her coachmen and is forced to spend the night at the local inn.  While there, she is offered a place to stay by the Baroness Meinster, who has a castle just down the road.  Marianne ignores the warnings of the town folk and decides to go with the Baroness.  Once Marianne is settled in her room, she sees a handsome young man chained to the room across from her balcony.  He begs her to come over and visit him; so she does and the young man explains the he is Baron Meinster and that his mother the Baroness is loopy and has him locked up.  He pleads with her to find the key and release him from his chain.  Marianne feels bad for him and thinks, what the hell, and says that she'll do it.  She sneaks into the Baroness's room and steals the key to set the Baron free.  Marianne gives the Baron the key, not knowing that she has released an evil onto the countryside, until after he escapes.  Isn't that always the way.  Greta the servant, finds Marianne and forces her to look at the body of the Baroness which the Baron has already drained; then Great goes into hysterics and Marianne flees the castle.
  Fortunately, the next day she is discovered on the side of the road by Dr. Van Helsing but Marianne has lost her memory from the night before and doesn't know how she got their.  Van Helsing offers her a lift to work but he has to make one stop at the local inn.  When they get there the innkeeper and his wife are pleased to find Marianne safe but are sad because a local girl was murdered in the night.  Dr. Van Helsing offers to look at the body and discovers a bite mark on the girls neck.  He whisks Marianne to her place of employment, an all girls school and then rushes back to the inn to meet with local priest, Father Stepnik.  Father Stepnik explains the strange goings on at the Meinster castle and Van Helsing sets up a watch on the local girl who recently died.  That night, the local girl rises from the dead and Baron Meinster is there waiting but so is Van Helsing!  There is a short battle but Meinster and his minion escape the justice of Van Helsing.
  However, Meinster hasn't gone too far because he has taken a liking to Marianne and has gone to visit her at the all girls school.  During his brief visit, he pops the question and although she has only met him once and doesn't remember the whole night, she accepts his proposal.(?)  Will Marianne ever have a memorable night with her fiance or will Van Helsing break them up in the name of all that is holy before they consecrate their vows!
  This is a decent sequel, that's not really a sequel.  Director Terrence Fisher (Mummy, The Curse of Frankenstein) returns to Transylvania with Peter Cushing (Shock Waves, Asylum) as the ace vampire hunter, Dr. Van Helsing.  Unfortunately, although the title implies, Dracula doesn't return in this film which is a little disappointing but David Peel does an alright job as a back up bat boy.  It has all the Gothic touches that we've come to love from Hammer films, great sets, terrific costumes and beautiful maidens waiting to get rescued.  There isn't a lot of bloodshed but there are some tasteful death scenes.  The ending is rather compelling to watch, all though it's a bit of a head scratcher and leap into disbelief lake but it's still enjoyable.  If you like classic horrors and vampires that don't sparkle then you'll probably dig this.

3. Bride of the Re-Animator (1993) - Eight months after the "Miskatonic Massacre", Dr. Dan Cain and Dr. Herbert West are in Peru saving lives from rebel forces, well at least Dr. Cain is trying to.  Dr. West is still working on his serum to bring people back from the dead and just as he has a breakthrough, rebels storm his tent! West and Cain flee from the tent, back to Arkham with West's next step in mind and lizard under his arm.
  They return to their old jobs as doctors at the Miskatonic University hospital and buy a creepy old funeral parlor to live in.  West soon discovers that all the evidence from the "Miskatonic Massacre" is still at the hospital, including the heart of Dan Cain's fiancee Megan Halsey.  West decides that he wants to bring those crazy kids together again, piece by piece.  So, body parts start to go missing and when Dan finds out what Herbert is doing, he becomes furious.  However after Herbert explains that it's Megan's heart that he's using and he just wants Dan to be happy; Dan concedes and works with Herbert again on building the girl of his dreams.
  Everything would be fine and dandy but a cop, Lt. Leslie Chapham has his nose out of joint about his wife, being one of the re-animated creature from the earlier mentioned massacre and he's found the last clue that has brought him to the hospital.  He visits Dr. Graves, a pathologist and gives him the head of Dr. Carl Hill to be put in the evidence room.  Chapman, then goes to talk with Herbert and Cain to see what they're up too.  Their meeting doesn't go well and Chapman decides to keep an eye on them.
  Also, Dr. Graves has found an old vile of Dr. West's serum and has been experimenting with it on the head of Dr. Hill!  Now that Dr. Hill's head is alive, kind of, he wants revenge and forces Dr. Graves to help him destroy Dr. West.
  And if this couldn't get worse, Dan made (not created, met) a new lady friend from Peru, Francesca and she's just moved up to Arkham to be with him.  Unfortunately, she doesn't know Herbert is tinkering on a love interest for Dan.  Will Dan ever find a love interest that Herbert won't want to use for spare parts and will Herbert escape the clutches of not only Lt. Chapman but his arch nemesis, Dr. Hill as well?
  Director Brian Yuzna (Society, Necronomicon) does a wonderful job with the follow up to the Re-Animator.  He seems to have the same sense of dark humour as director Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, From Beyond) and brings a number of intriguing creatures to life for audiences to cover their eyes too.  Jeffery Combs (From Beyond, Would You Rather) is brilliant again as Herbert West, the obsessive doctor with the god complex.  Also, returning is Bruce Abbot (Bad Dreams, Trance) has Dan Cain and David Gale (Savage Weekend) as everyone's favourite bad guy, Dr. Hill.  Lots of gruesome scenes and unusual things built by a number of special effects teams.  It's a fun movie with a little bit of something for everyone!

2. Bride of Chucky (1998) - Tiffany, former girlfriend of Charles Lee Ray (Chucky), has the remains of everyone's favourite Good Guy doll stolen from the police lock up.  She murders the officer helping her and brings the doll home and stitches it together.  Once it's ready, using her "Voodoo for Dummies" (I'm sad this doesn't exist) she evokes the spirit world to bring Chucky to life!  And after a few minutes, nothing happens so she gives up and her useless goth/wannabe killer boyfriend, Damien shows up at her trailer.  While listening to his nonsense, she notices that Chucky isn't on the floor anymore.  Pleased, she lures Damien into the bedroom, chains him to the bed and lets Chucky have his way with him.  Unfortunately, after the kill she learns that Chucky doesn't want to get married to her and she locks him up in a playpen.
  The next day while moving Damien's body out of her house with a trunk, she runs into her neighbour, Jesse.  Jesse has his own problems because he loves his girlfriend, Jade but her uncle, Warren who's the chief of police won't let them be together.  That's a bummer and Tiffany gives him some motherly wisdom and gets Jesse to load the heavy trunk into her car.  When Tiffany gets back from dumping the body, she has a soak in the bath tub.  Chucky finally breaks out of his playpen prison and electrocutes Tiffany in her bathtub.  Before she dies, he then evokes the spirits and puts Tiffany's soul into one of her dolls!  Tiffany is pissed and demands to know how they can get out of this predicament.  Chucky tells her that they have to get the amulet that he was wearing the night he was killed, that is buried in his grave in New Jersey.
  So it's road trip time, Tiffany calls Jesse and he agrees to deliver the dolls for a thousand dollars.  Jesse tells Jade that this is their chance to escape Warren and the small town.  Jade agrees and four of them hit the road.  Unfortunately, once they leave Tiffany and Chucky can't resist their murderous nature and go on a killing spree that the police believe is being committed by Jade and Jesse.  Will Jade & Jesse ever find out the truth or will they end up going down like Bonnie & Clyde?
  I really love this movie and I think this is one of Jennifer Tilly's, who plays Tiffany, best roles of her career.  She's funny, beautiful and as a doll she is downright terrifying.  Director Ronnie Yu took an older franchise and was able to pump new life into it by adding some dark comedy elements but still remained true to the series.  Like Scream, he plays with the 4th wall and even gives a nod at the beginning of the film to some of horror's greatest maniacs.  I forgot that Katherine Heigl and John Ritter were in this and the latter shows a strong performance as well.  There are tons of good kill scenes, which makes it bloody fun to watch.  Brad Dourif and Jennifer Tilly have such great chemistry together doing the voices that they make the doll's really come alive.  Also, hats off to the special effects team who created the dolls because they looked great and were flawless for every scene.  So, if you're looking for a gory comedy to watch with someone you love this should be it.

1. Bride of Frankenstein (1935) - Just as the fiery windmill comes crashing down, Henry Frankenstein, believed to be dead is brought back to his castle.  His fiance, Elizabeth runs down the stairs and throws herself on to him, but luckily Henry Frankenstein is actually alive and just needs some time to recoup.  However, the Monster that the villagers thought they killed made it through too and after killing a couple of local gawkers is caught by the police and jailed.  Unfortunately, no chains can hold him down and with a quick pull, the chains break and the monster storms through the jailhouse to freedom.
  While on the run, the monster hears some music, which leads him to the cottage of a blind man playing a violin.  The blind man welcomes him in, offers him food and starts teaching the Monster how to talk.  The monster learns about friendship, drinking wine and smoking cigars, what more does a bachelor need to know.  Unfortunately, during a jam session some locals come to see where the music is coming from and discover the monster.  Like any good concert, the monster ends up burning the cottage down and he escapes the villagers wrath once again.
  Meanwhile, Frankenstein is recovering but an old colleague, Dr. Pretorius comes to visit to ask him for some help on a project that he's working on.  Dr. Pretorius also wants to create life from dead things and has done so in a small entertaining way but wants to build a creature like Frankenstein did.  He has created a brain and now he just needs the other parts but Frankenstein refuses and tells Pretorius that he is done messing around with nature and playing god.
  So like anyone else after being rejected, Dr. Pretorius puts his head into his work and goes grave robbing but even that doesn't cheer him up.  He asks his henchman to leave the crypt and laments over a bottle of wine and a good cigar.  And guess whose there? Frankenstein's monster!  Who joins Dr. Pretorius for a bit of wine and a smoke, then tells him all his monster problems. (In a monster voice) Lonely, argh, no friends argh (end monster voice) and this gives Dr. Pretorius an idea, which  makes Pretorius the best wingman ever. He decides that they should make the monster a lady friend!
With the new plan ready to go, they kidnap Frankenstein's fiance and force him to help create a wife for the monster.  Will this work and catch on faster than the dating sites on the internet or will their plan blow up in their face like the last time Frankenstein built a person out of dead things.
  James Whale, Boris Karloff, Colin Clive and even Dwight Frye return in this fantastic sequel to Mary Shelly's Frankenstein.  Even make up master, Jack Pierce returned to work on the unforgettable face of Frankenstein.  Like many of the sequels here, the tone of the picture shifts a little and adds more of a dark comic effect, which doesn't take away for the film at all.  There isn't much violence in the film but it's eluded to in that classic horror sense.  Great movie and a must see for anyone who appreciates classic horror.

After watching these films, one can see that love isn't guaranteed even if you are able build your own mate.  Maybe relationships can't be sewn together from bits of dead ones and looking for that someone can take time, so don't rush into anything because you don't want to end up with a Frankenhooker.

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