Sunday, 10 March 2013

5 Films with Horrific Babies

  Having a baby can be stressful and scary but having an evil baby can compound your fears into a full blown nightmare.  There's no What to Expect book when it's a demon spawn for the 9th circle of hell and who speaks Latin these days to understand it.  Most parents will have the support of their friend, neighbour and religious affiliations but the evil baby parents where do they run to when being attacked or who do the turn to when there baby needs blood.  Luckily, these films can help those parents bring up a proper malevolent creature that will someday enslave the world for it's unholy father/beast.

 Here are 5 Films with Horrific Babies:

5. The Baby (1973) - Social worker Ann Gentry begins investigating the Wadsworth family, which consists of Mrs. Wadsworth, her two grown daughters, Alba and Germaine and her son, simply known as "Baby".  Baby, however, is in his twenties and is believed to have a mental disability that makes him act like a baby.  Ann thinks that Baby could live a normal life if he is taken out of the care/harm of Mrs. Wadworth and his sisters.  She tells Mrs. Wadsworth right away that she asked for this case specifically and after multiple visits Mrs. Wadworth becomes suspicious of Ann Gentry's intent.  It becomes a sloppy cat and mouse game, which Ann finally becomes the victor and steals Baby away but Mrs. Wadworth has a plan to get him back and it may involve an axe.
  This film was really disappointing for me in many ways.  From reading different synopsizes, it sounded strange and disturbing but I found it mostly plodding and dull, until the end.  Maybe it's not what I was expecting and there are a couple of disturbing scenes, like Baby gets cattle prodded, the babysitter gets beaten up and even a cheap incest scene with Alba and Baby, but we all saw that cumming a mile away.  The horror element is just so few and far between that it makes it frustrating to watch and it isn't silly enough to make you laugh.  The ending does pick up but it's too late and the twist is so lame that it's not worth the 80 plus minutes that you put into it.  The only good thing in this movie is Ruth Roman (Strangers On The Train), who plays the Mrs. Woodworth.  I found her convincing as an angry mother, who loves her son but has some real men issues. It's a shame this was one of her last films.  I think, director Ted Post tried to hard to make this more serious than it should have been with a story that could have been a great B-movie.  Too much drama, not enough violence and other weird shit.  See it at your own risk. 

4. It's Alive! (1974) - Frank and Lenore Davis are about to have their second child, so they pack up their things, drive their son, Chris to creepy Uncle Charlie's house and head over to the hospital.  Like most 1970's maternity wards, Frank is smoking in the waiting room with the other nervous expecting fathers, while Lenore is legs up in labor and the doctor can't believe the size of the babies head.  The doctor tells her not to worry and after a little snip everything will be ok, but moments later, Frank hears ungodly screams coming from the delivery room.  He rushes to see what is going on, only to be stopped by a bloody orderly! (An orderly covered in blood)  He rushes into the operating room to find all of the doctors dead and his poor Lenore crying hysterically.  The police are brought in to investigate but it's too late, the monster baby has escaped.  So, the doctors discharge Lenore and Frank brings her home but little do they know that their baby is on his way home, creating a bloody trail of carnage.  Can the police catch the critter in time to save the town from this tiny terror?
   This is a fun B-movie, directed by Larry Cohen, who has also made some of favourites like The Stuff, Hell Comes to Harlem and Black Caesar.  The pacing is slow but there are some good scenes with the monster baby doing it's thing.  John P. Ryan and Sharon Farrell are alright, as parents torn between loving their new born and accepting the fact that it's a monster that kills.  Special effects master Rick Baker created the hideous creature and did the make-up on the film.  I was most surprised that Bernard Hermann scored this film, I guess he owed someone a favour.  Classic horror film with cheap kills and laughable thrills.

3. Born (2007) - Mary Elizabeth is going to her mother's funeral with her family.  The service concludes, so Mary Elizabeth takes a stroll through the cemetery and is sucked into ground by some evil force.  She is woken up by her family and remembers nothing, so she thinks that she may have fainted but when she gets home and weighs herself, she is fifteen pounds heavier and feeling nauseous.  She realizes that she is preggers but is confused because she is still a virgin?  This enrages her holier than thou, way way older sister, Catherine, who of course tries to drown her for having a baby out of wedlock.  Someone stops this and her father, who looks like her grandfather and is a former doctor, checks her out and sees that the hymen is still intact and he pronounces this as an immaculate conception.  A strange Cardinal tells the church that this is the work of the demon Asmodeus and there will be six slayings in the next six months before the demon child can be born.  So they put their best guy and ex-marine, Father Nick to keep an eye on Mary Elizabeth and to kill the baby demon when the time comes.  Soooooo, Mary Elizabeth starts keeping a diary and she starts becoming possessed by the demon, who forces her to go out and kill to feed the demon child.  Can Mary Elizabeth survive the next six months with the demon secret or can her family and her church save her in time?
   Director Richard Friedman (Phantom of the Mall) pieces together one of the strangest and unintentionally humorous films, I've seen in a while.  This astonishing tale was written by Alex D'Lerma, who also plays the Father Nick and luckily this was his last screenplay to date because it is all over the place.  Luckily, it has some veterans that hold the film together, like Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th), Denise Crosby and a relatively new comer in Alison Brie. Alison Brie is batshit insane in this movie and I don't know if it was Friedman's direction or how she envisioned the character but it is fucked up and funny to watch.  I am surprised and so glad that she continued to work after watching her in this movie because, man, you'd have to see it to believe it.  Speaking of seeing to believe, most of the CG is aren't fantastic but there is a lot of crazy bloody scenes.  My favourite is when the father opens up Mary Elizabeth stomach to find the demon, I never realized the uterus was like a cookie jar.  Confusing yes! Worth watching? Sure, if you can get past the first 15 minutes, you should be pretty good to get through the rest because your too far along to abort.

2. Baby Blood (1990) - The circus has just received a new Leopard for it's show and Yanka and the others think there might be something wrong with it because the other animals have been acting strange since it arrived.  A few days later, Yanka's cruel boyfriend/circus owner hears screams from the animal cages and he goes over to investigate while Yanka tries to get back to sleep.  When he arrives, he sees that the leopard has exploded and the trainer can't understand why or how this has happened. While Yanka's boyfriend and the trainer are trying to figure out what happened, a snake like parasite slithers into Yanka's trailer and impregnates her.  Did anyone order the Black Mamba?  The next morning, she realizes that she is pregnant and flees in fear of what her boyfriend may do to her.  A few month's later, the boyfriend tracks her down to a scuzzy apartment.  He tries to convince her to come back, but she murders him and drinks his blood.  Her fetus tells her that if she doesn't continue to kill people to feed it, the fetus will destroy her from the inside and demonstrates it's power by crippling her. When she agrees to kill and feed the evil seed, the fetus lets her go.  Now they're on the run, moving from town to town, trying to find fresh victims for the thing living in her belly!  Can Yanka escape and stop the evil fetus before it's too late? Probably not.
  I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed this movie, there is some serious blood shed going on here.  Yanka, nor the fetus fuck around when it comes to eating and the the killings become more and more gruesome as time goes on.  I like that the fetus has a different voice, unlike in Born where Mary Elizabeth speaks for the demon and it's almost laughable.  With the other voice, it makes it more creepy and you're not sure if Yanka is the only one that can here it.  Also, I like the creature when it's born, the way it looks and the fact that it wants to get back to the sea, screams of Lovecraftian lore. There is times that the pacing can be a bit slow but overall it's good watch and you won't be disappointed.  Couldn't find an English trailer, sorry. :)

1. Rosemary's Baby (1968) - Guy and Rosemary are a young married couple looking for the perfect apartment and they think they've found it in the Bramford building.  Over dinner with their friend Hutch, they discover that it has bad reputation of peculiar accidents and have been linked to witchcraft by a former tenant; a man named Marcato, who claimed that he had conjured the devil and then was killed for blasphemy inside the building.  Neither, witchcraft nor early 19th century mob violence sways them from the Bramford and they move right in! Rosemary even makes a new friend with Terry the girl who lives next door.  Terry tells her that the owners of the apartment, the Castevets are a wonderful elderly couple, who took her in when she was having a hard time.  She also shows Rosemary the lovely charm that they gave her and she notices that it has an unusual smell, but Terry is used to it now and she says it keeps her safe. That night, Rosemary tells Guy about the neighbours, then they hear through the wall, funny chanting and it sounds like a weird party going on next door.  Crazy old people.
  A few days later, Guy and Rosemary return home and see a bunch of police cars around their building.  Rosemary rushes over and sees that her new besty Terry has committed suicide.  At the same time the Castevets, Roman and Minnie arrive and don't seem that shocked to see the girl they cared for lying in a pool of her own blood.  Rosemary tells them about all the nice things Terry said about them and Roman invites them over for dinner.  Rosemary accepts the request and the next night they go, even though Guy lost the acting gig, he was up for and doesn't want to have dinner with these people.  Guy's tune changes over dinner and is mesmerized by Roman's stories, but Rosemary is feeling annoyed with how intrusive Minnie is becoming.  At the end of the evening, they go home and they have switched opinions of Castevets.   The next night, Guy wants to visit Roman again, but Rosemary is tired and wants to stay home, read and relax.  So Guy goes over and Minnie and her friend come over to crotchet, how fun.  Later that night, Guy returns home and tells Rosemary that he thinks they should have a baby!  Sure, why not!  The next night, Guy finds out that he got the acting gig because the actor they went with, now has mysteriously become blind.  Hooray for blindness! After dinner, Minnie bring over some chocolate mousse which Rosemary thinks has a chalky under taste but she finishes it not to be rude.  Now, it's time for some sexy sex but Rosemary passes out and has these incredible "dreams".  She "dreams" that she is stripped down and brought to the basement of the building, where she is surrounded by chanting old naked people. Eww! Roman, Minnie and Guy are there and then some sort of beast comes out of the darkness and rapes her while everybody watches.  When she wakes up, she is back in her own bed and tells Guy about the weird dream.  Guy tells her he didn't want to miss the baby making opportunity, so he had sex with her while she was unconscious.  Classy guy.  Rosemary notices a scratch on her arm and Guy apologizes for being too rough.
  After that evening's romp, Rosemary becomes pregnant and the Castevets get their friend to be her doctor.  As the pregnancy goes on, more strange things start to happen and Hutch ends up dying in a weird coma but leaves her a book on the occult.  After reading the book and connecting some of the strange occurrences, Rosemary starts to believe that the Castevets are witches and want to steal her baby so the can feed it to the devil!  Can Rosemary convince Guy that evil is a foot and the elderly couple next door want to sacrifice their first born or will the sweet elderly couple be able to bring forth the dark ruler with the flesh and blood of her innocent newborn?
  Perhaps one of director Roman Polanski's most famous films, Rosemary's Baby is a different kind of horror movie.  Although there are no bloody scenes per sa, the under lying theme of the occult and witchcraft leaves a uneasy feeling in the viewer.  The audience follows Rosemary's journey through the joys of learning of the baby, the feelings of isolation and fear of mother hood and the terror of knowing that harm could come to her baby.  Mia Farrow portrays the character, Rosemary very well and John Cassavetes is excellent as her husband Guy.  Ruth Gordon took home a well deserved Oscar for best supporting role as Minnie Castevets and there are a number of notable talent people that can be seen in smaller roles throughout the film.  It's an interesting story about witchcraft, how people never really know there neighbours and the brinks of insanity that old people can drive you too.   A great horror film, that won't let you cut the cord.

So, when your getting up for that midnight feeding, rocking the car seat at 2 a.m or trying to find your sanity that you left with the pacifier somewhere in the house; check again for a tail and horns and if you can't find them, count yourself lucky because they're only going to be this age once and then the real evil begins when they're teenagers.

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