Wednesday, 2 May 2012

5 Massacre Films You Don't Want To Miss

Everyone loves a good massacre film, I know I do. This genre of films needs little plot, really writes itself and the gory body count is usually pretty high.  The idea of one killer with no remorse, hacking up people that may or may not deserve it has been a horror staple for over a century.

 These are 5 massacre films that you don't want to miss:

5. Memorial Valley Massacre (1988) - It's a Memorial Day weekend! David comes down to help his dad open up the new campground.  When he gets there, his dad and head ranger George Webster are plagued with problems and a huge line up of campers that are waiting to get into the campgrounds.  There has been an accident with one of the construction workers and someone put a dead dog in the water supply, contaminating the drinking and toilet (?) water.  David's dad takes off and tells him that he and George need to make the camp a success; George doesn't like David because he's the boss's kid and went to Dartmouth. Anywhoo, the camp opens and there is some kind of caveman person lurking about who starts a murderous murder spree to chase the campers away.  Most of the campers are douche bags and you can't wait for them to get it but there is a special lady for David to fall in love with, for you romantics out there.  This is an environmental, fern gully type horror film because the valley, like David girlfriend, has been untouched for so many years, and this caveman is going to defend it by any means necessary.  The description on this is that there is an Ax wielding maniac, which is a misnomer because the caveman only uses an axe once to my saddened black little heart.  He seems to either use a stick or his caveman super brain, by using technology that really should be foreign to him, like knowing about engines, electricity and driving a loader.  There are some good kill scenes and it can be funny at times, worth a glance if you have the time.  There is no trailer, so here's a best(worst) of clip.  It may be a spoiler but you can see the movie for free on the youtube.



4. Drive In Massacre (1977) - There's a serial killer who murderers people at the drive-in and the worst cops in the world have to catch the him.  This massacre goes on for a few days and the scenes with the serial killer are pretty good; the special effects are alright for a looooooow budget film from 1976.  The two cops are morons but they do bring some laughs especially when they stake out the drive-in and have to pretend to be a couple.  Overall it's a fun view, it's only an hour and 14 minutes and you can see it for free on the youtube.


3. Massacre at Central High (1976) - David transfers to a new school and right away he is targeted by bullies.  Luckily, his old friend, Mark is there to help him but he's part of this gang of bullies led by Craig!  David doesn't like how Mark has changed and he decides to stand up for the people they're picking on and beats up Craig and his two flunkies.  In retaliation, Craig damages David's knee in a automotive accident and David begins to plot his revenge.  Great flick, reminds me of Heathers at times.  The massacre goes on for days but the killings are interesting and unique for each victim.  What's really unusual about this film is that you don't actually see any "adults" until the end of the film.  Definitely worth checking out! 



2. Slumber Party Massacre (1982) - Trish's parent's are going away, so when she gets to school, she invites her girl friends over for a slumber party.  Unfortunately the new girl, Valerie, is better at basketball than Trish's friend Diane and over hears her talking bad about her. Meow! So, Valerie politely declines the invitation.  Luckily, like everyone in her school, Valerie only lives a few houses down.  However, the girls don't know that the mass murderer, Russ Thorn has just escaped prison and is on the loose in their area.  The girls get together later that evening for a night they will never forget.  Originally written by political activist Rita Mae Brown as a parody of the genre, producers let it play straight, which turned it into a very humorous slasher film.  I love the scene with the dead girl in the fridge and the scene were Valerie is choosing her weapon to attack the killer.  I think Sam Raimi enjoyed this movie as well.  The kill scenes are excellent and it really hits (drills) all the key points a slasher film should, a large body count, sadistic killer and to round things off, numerous tits and ass shots. Great film!



1. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) - Tobe Hooper's classic is about a group of friends visiting the grave of their grandfather and to look into the reports of vandalism and grave robbing.  Afterwards, they set off to visit their grandfathers' old home and on the way they pick up a hitchhiker.  This hitchhiker slashes them and he is thrown out of the van.  They stop at the gas station but the old man there tells them there is no gas and try again later.  They arrive at the grandfather's old house and split up and like lambs to a slaughter get taken out by Leatherface and his family of redneck cannibals.  If you haven't seen this, you need to go watch it now!  The movie is incredible and still terrifying to this day.  Gunnar Hansen is unforgettable as Leatherface, creating this timeless character with only a few grunts, nods and twirling chainsaw dance that will never be forgotten.  Based loosely on the Ed Geins case, Hooper brings a horrifying glimpse into the minds of a backwoods cannibal family.  Often duplicated, creating a number of sequels, prequels and remakes, but never matched in its chilling realism; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the one to watch.


This style of film is terrific and lets your inner maniac come to life.  You can have friends come over and create drinking games, make bets on who will survive and enjoying the visceral fear that these films can generate.  Then at the end of the night, when everyone has gone home, you can take out your notepad and write down any notes you may need.



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