Sunday, 8 April 2012

5 Easter Horror Tales

It's the time of year when it seems that rising from the dead is most prevalent.  In a society that pushes away the idea of ghosts, witchcraft and the occult, we sure like to hold onto this tale of zombie/ghost lore.  It's just funny.  Anywhoo, if you're stuffed with chocolate, ham or both, don't want to hear anymore stories from your uncle Ted and sick of watching the usual Easter fare, why not look up some these titles and watch somebody else get strung up for change.

Here are 5 films that are set on the Easter Weekend, hope your weekend is better than theirs.

5. Critters 2: The Main Course (1988) - In this sequel, Brad Brown comes back to town to visit his grandmother, two years after the first critter incident.  Luckily, he has arrived just in time because the local bully, Wesley has just discovered a dormant nest of critter eggs.  He sells them to a local junk dealer, who in turns sells them to Brad's grandma for the church's Easter Egg Hunt.  Now, that they have been moved out of the cold(?) barn, they hatch and run amok through the sleepy town of Grover's Bend.  I loved this series when I was a kid, it was a b-movie Gremlins.  The body count is rather small, but the gore is good when it's there.

4. The Being (1983) - I love a movie that starts with a narrative and tells a tale of foreboding doom.  From what I could tell from this badly edited film is that there is monster that came from dumping toxic waste in the outskirts of town.  The sheriff must stop this monster from devouring the town. The cast is interesting, Academy award winner Martin Landau, Kenny Rogers wife at the time, Marianne Goldman, the producer of Flesh Gorden, Bill Osco, and Ruth Buzzi.  This movie has no sense of time at all and is very confusing, which just adds to the camp.  Also, Dorothy Malone's character can't find her son Michael (?) and this story goes no whereat all.  The scenes where the monster kills people are pretty good, special effects other wise but the monster itself ain't that good.  I think they were going for a budget Alien thing from the shots of it.  Judging by the credits, I think they new what they had because the credits give a funny wrap to the story.  You can probably catch the whole movie on youtube, you really shouldn't have to pay more than that.

3. Dead Snow (2009) - A group of students are vacationing at there friends cabin for the weekend when a mysterious traveler stops by to visit them.  He tells them about the village and how it was overrun by nazis, who would torment and kill the villagers from fun.  Until one day the villagers revolted against them, killing many nazis and fleeing to the mountains to leave them to starve and freeze.  The stranger leaves and the students take it as crazy old man talk but the next night, after a day of partying, the group is attack by zombies!  Nazi Zombies!  There is a lot of fun gory scenes in this film and reminds me again of films like Braindead and the Evil Dead series.  Really enjoyable film and it'll tickle your funny bone! (I hope that's your funny bone!!)

4. Easter Bunny Kill Kill (2006) - This is a really dark themed movie, similar to early Craven work and the lead character and bad guy, Remington, even reminded me of the people the late David Hess portrayed.  The opening scene, has Remington killing a clerk during a robbery before he heads over to his girlfriends' house.  His girlfriend, Mindy, is a widower and she has a mentally challenged teenage son, Nicholas, to take care of, who is excited that Easter is coming.  Remington arrives and she apologizes for not telling him that her son was special and he tells her that it's no problem.  Neither Remington nor the son like each other from the start.  Mindy leaves for work, Remington berates Nicholas, calls him names and threatens to kill his precious rabbit if he tells his mom about the party, he's going to have.  Remington heads out for hookers and leaves Nicholas with child molester and this is when the vengeance of the Easter Bunny rains down upon everyone.  I thought this film was done really well.  Again Remington is scary unlikable and Timothy Muskatell does a great job portraying him.  The kill scenes are excellent and the tension throughout the film is abundant.  The ending is weird but it doesn't really ruin anything and it's definitely worth checking out.

1. Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) - This is a Canadian (so proud) horror/comedy/musical/action film about Jesus Christ being brought back to stop the lesbians of our nation's capitol, Ottawa, and the eventually the world from being attacked by vampires.  That's right, Ottawa!  With the help of the Mexican superstar Santos, Jesus kicks some undead ass in an old school, way old school.  This is a pretty funny film, it looks like some punk rock friends took some time and put a good idea to use.  The fight scenes are as ridiculous as the story line but it has a certain feel to it that you can't not love.


I hope you and yours have a Happy Easter and remember that these films are like the Cadbury cream eggs that you would get when you were a kid, no expiry date, filled with goo and usually made you want to throw up after words.

1 comment:

  1. Easter Bunny Kill Kill doesn't look like an actual movie, more like a fake trailer. I would have seen this if it was someone in a fully bunny outfit killing people vs just some guy in a mask