Saturday, 11 February 2012

5 Weird and Sick Love Movies (It's For Valentines Day!)

Since Valentine's Day is coming up, I thought I'd share a list of bizarre and sick movies with you.  So, when your girl/guy friend says "Hey, do you want to watch another Hugh Grant, 18th century, high school, girl takes off the glasses and lets down hair, stomach turning, everything works out at the end, bullshit movie?"  You can finally say, "No thanks, let's watch something different" and you can suggest one of these fine titles.

5. Deadly Friend (1986) - College student Paul Conway and his mother move to a new city.  Paul is studying artificial intelligence and neurology and has built a himself a remote control robot named "BB", which shows some signs of autonomy.  He becomes friends with the girl next door, Samantha (Kristy Swanson) and Tom is college buddy.  On Halloween night, they crack the lock on the gate to the reclusive Elvira Parker (Anne Ramsey) so they can ring her doorbell to scare her.  After they ring the bell, alarms are sounded, the three hide behind the porch but poor "BB" reactivates himself and is gunned down by Elvira.  Later on, Samantha's abusive father beats her so badly she is barely alive, so  Paul and Tom steal her body and insert "BB"'s AI chip into her brain.  Now, somehow, possessing super strength and only having mixture of her own and "BB"'s memory, she goes out to avenge their deaths.  This isn't the best Craven movie but the story is interesting and a child hood favourite of mine.  Anne Ramsey is the perfect, mean old lady and Kristy Swanson is one sexy robot killing machine.  What more could you ask for?


4. Dellamorte Dellamore (1994) - Rupert Everett stars as a grounds keeper at a cemetery, where the dead come back, once they've been buried.  Along with this mentally handicapped henchman, Gnaghi, Everett waits during the night after a funeral to put the dead down again.  At a funeral, he falls in love with a young widow, but while consummating their relationship in the graveyard later that evening, her dead husband rises and bites her.  She passes and Everett stays closely waiting for her to rise, when she does, he shoots her.  Later, she rises again and Everett realizes she wasn't dead the first time.  His life then spirals as he sinks deeper and deeper into depression. This is a great love story for not only the Everett character but there is charming subplot with Gnaghi as well.  Good gore, zombies and it's funny in an Evil Dead kind of way.


3. Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006) - Patrick Fugit stars as Zia, a depressed teenager who kills himself after his girlfriend Desiree breaks up with him and finds himself in an afterworld occupied by people who have commited suicide.  While at work, Zia hears that Desiree offed herself shortly after his funeral and is looking for him in this new world.  He sets off on an adventure to find her with his russian rocker friend Eugene (Shea Wigham).  Along the way, they pick up Mikal (Shannyn Sossaman), who is looking for the People in Charge because she believes there has been a mistake and wants to be sent back. This movie has an interesting cast, Will Arnett, Tom Waits and the music for Eugene's band is Gogol Bordello.  It's a terrific black comedy with some quirky twists.


2. Black Devil Doll from Hell (1984) - A lonely religious woman buys a doll at a pawn shop, after the clerk tells her it grants people their deepest desire.  She bring it home and the puppet comes alive and of course it's evil.  The evil puppet ties her up and has sex with her.  After the puppet has sex with her, it disappears (even though the clerk, said the puppet has returned to the store 5 times) and she goes into a sexual frenzy trying to reclaim the feeling of puppet sex, that no regular man can give her.  This movie is cheap looking (home video), sounding (Casio keyboard soundtrack) and the camera work is awful (they spelled Photography wrong twice, in 2 different ways).  However, the puppet work is good and it's funny to watch an evil puppet have sex with someone.  The movie is only 70 minutes, and if you like weird shit than you should check it out.  There is no trailer, so I found a clip.



1. Nekromantik (1987) - Rob works for a company that removes dead bodies, when they are found in outdoor areas.  This is great for him because he is then able to steal bits of the bodies for him and his girlfriend.  On one excursion, Rob decides to risk taking a whole (almost whole) body home and he and girlfriend make love(?) to the corpse.  He gets fired from his job, his girlfriend leaves him and takes the corpse and then his life gets weird.  This movie is crazy, it is low budget and gross as fuck.  I almost busted gut when I saw them create a penis for the corpse, with a metal rod and then put a condom on it.  Cuz,, if your going to have sex with a dead person, you might as well be safe.  This movie is not for everybody but it is an interesting story of the weirdest caliber.  Even stranger, there's a sequel.


After you are done watching any of these films, look at your significant other and if they are still there sitting beside you, then maybe you found the right mate!

2 comments:

  1. I haven't seen Deadly Friend in so long! I even forgot that Craven directed it. Great picks!

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  2. Wristcutters was a pretty cool film. Almost depressing given the setting. I'll have to check out these others.

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